Pondering Social Media and Fangirl Behavior

There's an author I have an admitted fangirl crush on. I love just about everything she writes. And by the weird quirks of fate, she lives in my general region of the country.

I visited her blog about once a week and posted about once a month. And since many of her posts are about the weather, I tended to chime in with what the conditions are here. Never mentioning her location by name or mine.

I also replied to a tweet or two on Twitter, but never very often. And she NEVER responds or engages with me on any level.

That's perfectly fine. I can understand that I'm just not all that interesting or she doesn't have enough time to respond to everyone.

But the other day, she DID respond to one of my blog comments with an email. Yea me, right? Except that it came across as if she didn't believe my post about my weather or road conditions. As if I were *lying* about it because the roads were closed in her area. Why I would do that eludes me, but perhaps I'm just coming across as too familiar or stalkerish? Even though I've gone out of my way to avoid doing just that.

Now, given that I can't hear tone in a written letter, I'm inclined to give her the benefit of the doubt. I responded with the fact that while her highway was closed, mine was not. But it nags at me. I'm backing way the heck off by not visiting her blog or responding to her tweets. I'm sure I'm overreacting. But I'd rather err on the side of caution than gain a reputation as a pest.

So my question is this: has an author's response in any form of social media turned you off from following them or visiting their blog? And did that extend to their books as well? Any advice on other ways I should have handled this?


  1. I find it odd that she chose to e-mail you about the weather! There are a couple of authors that I have stopped following because of a tweet or blog post that rubbed me the wrong way (though not directed at me personally). I think you handled it just fine!

  2. @Diana,

    To be fair, it was more of a "I'm surprised you were able to get to X since X road was closed."

    And weather is a big deal where I live. But after the radio silence on nearly every other post or tweet, it felt like I was being called out as a phony or something. I could totally have misread it (It was rather short and terse). But it just rubbed me wrong. Plus made me paranoid that I'm not following proper fangirl etiquette :)

  3. I think you handled it well. It is a little odd that she responded to you that way - that's the sort of comment I'd expect from someone I had a rapport with, not a one-sided feedback relationship. Perhaps she was trying to open that type of relationship? It's ambiguous so I'm not surprised you're worried about how to take it.

  4. Definitely strange. I will say that if the purpose of social media is to be "social" I get bothered when the author of a blog never responds to comments. And I'm not speaking of just author blogs. Quilters, readers, cooks, etc. The blogger doesn't have to respond to every comment or respond to *me*. Just respond once in awhile. So if I had been on the receiving end of radio silence and then an email came out of the blue, yeah, I'd be asking some questions, too. Would I stop following them? If I found the tone of their email offensive, probably. Would I stop reading their books? No, although that author might get moved to my library-only list.

  5. @Sylvia,

    I've also considered that maybe this author thought I lived closer to her and was jealous/curious how I managed to get out when the road was closed. I just wish I could *tell*

  6. @Phyl,

    Yeah it's the silence beforehand that has me behaving like an insecure blogger. I certainly don't want to be bothering someone :( I should add that this author's general area isn't a secret, so I'm not divulging anything I shouldn't by posting about my area.